How It All Happened
by in the hallway with jeans
Summary: Decades after Edwad left, Bella is back in Forks......as a vampire. She doesn't remeber her human life, but that wall comes crashing down when a certain bronze-haired god comes back to town with that oh-so-familiar family.
1. Chapter 1

It's been 87 years since,I got changed by Victoria, she saw I was in pain, and would gladly suffer through her torture if it meant I would die, so she decided to stick me with living forever! I met 4 other vampires in the last 87 years, we are all a coven, we moved into a house that I know, I just don't know why. It goes down a long winding driveway, and has pale colors, and is huge and open. I have the room on the 3rd floor. The rest of my coven has spread out through the house. We all enjoy the kitchen, we cook and bake for every social event you could think of. We moved back near Forks 3 years ago, and now I'm a Junior… AGAIN. I decided to try and go for being a freshmen when I first got here, Lucy and Heath are Juniors with me, Tanya and Collin and Seniors.

I feel like I'm missing a part of my life. I don't remember anything from my human life, but lately I've been getting little bits of memories. I know it's weird, but it's happening.

I have an extra power, I can manipulate people's thoughts. I can't completely make them think anything, I can just enhance a little whisper of thought, or make that thought disappear. Tanya and Heath don't have any extra abilities. Lucy has telepathy, she can speak to you through your mind, and you can talk back, it's really cool. Collin can read every thought that has ever passed through your mind if he focuses hard enough, but he can't read my mind for some reason. I feel like this should be familiar, like I should be remembering something like that.

I went into the backyard where everyone was hanging out, I picked up my Sunkist from the ground and sat on the blanket with Lucy and Tanya. Heath and Collin were fighting, and we were all laughing. It was so obvious that Collin liked Lucy, well, obvious to everyone but her.

I had an idea; I ran into the garage and grabbed a football from the ground. I ran back and went towards Collin and Heath. I kicked Heath out from Collins striking hand, kicked Collins legs out from under him.

They both looked up at me with frustrated expressions, they never got over the fact that I can kick their asses. I lifted up the football and huge grins spread across their faces.

Tanya and Lucy ran over immediately, I grabbed Tanya and Heath immediately, so Lucy and Collin would be stuck with each other.

Lucy gave me a death glare, she wouldn't admit it, but she liked Collin too.

We started into the funniest game of football ever, lots of lunges and blows to the chest. I let Collin look manly for Lucy, and I made Lucy look like a damsel in distress so he could save her.

We were all excited about tomorrow, there were new kids coming to town, and they were coming to our school. Finally we would not be the lunch time gossip. Everyone was always talking about us, or talking to us, either way, they were completely dazzled by us, the people that did talk to us usually stuttered when we looked at them, it was really funny to see how they reacted when you smiled and stared them straight in the eyes.

We had to get ready for school, so we all parted into different rooms and started to get ready.

I went into my gigantic closet and pulled out my favorite outfit, dark Tag jeans, a white Nordstrom camisole, a red ¾ sleeve shirt from Ralph Lauren, and brown Ugg boots. Tanya gave this outfit to me for my first day of my second round of high school. I went into the bathroom and put my chestnut brown hair in long braids with a read headband to complete the look.

I raced downstairs to get my lip gloss, I don't really need it, but I absolutely love the smell- vanilla caramel- so I wore it a lot.

I went to get my book bag from my room, and came down to horns being honked. I ran into the garage and got into Collins Volvo. We're not allowed to drive our actual cars to school, we have to be _inconspicuous, _we all like to drive fast. Lucy has an M3, Collin has a Ferrari, Heath has an Aston Martin Vanquish, Tanya has a canary yellow Porsche, and I have a Bugatti Veyron.

We arrived at school within minutes, we have a thing for speed. I could already hear the girls gushing over the new hotties, within 4 minutes I learned that there are 5 kids, and their dad is the new doctor, 4 of them are taken( by each other) and that they are all adopted. I went to first hour English early-as usual- and flipped out my IPod.

I was listening to stand in the rain by superchick when everyone started pouring into class. I put my IPod in my pocket and slid my phone in between my legs as usual so I could text my family(coven!?!?!?!?!) when I got bored.

I was doodling on my notebook when he walked in, I didn't really care too much, I continued to draw in the shaded parts of my smiley faces when he whispered my name in shock, it was as of he didn't believe it was true.

I recognized that voice, I looked up, and it all came back to me.

" Edward." I whispered in the same tone he did, at that moment, Mr. Garner started the lesson for the day.


	2. Chapter 2

**SHE HAD A SUNKIST IN THE LAST CHAPTER BECAUSE I SAID SO! SO DEAL WITH IT! SUNKIST IS THE BOMB! AND YOU KNOW IT TOO!**

_I recognized that voice, I looked up, and it all came back to me._

" _Edward." I whispered in the same tone he did, at that moment, Mr. Garner started the lesson for the day._

Like a flood gate being crashed down, all of my memories. I immediately felt the pang of heartbreak, and tears were starting to spill over.

I dashed out of my seat and out of classroom, just barely using human speed. I had a massive amount of tears spilling out of my eyes by time I got out of the classroom and into the parking lot. I collapsed near a tree, holding one hand to my heart and another rested on the side of the tree. I could hear Collin talking to the teacher about my little episode, and him trying to convince the teacher to let him come after me. I was gasping for air through all of my tears.

I was falling apart every second. More memories, more pain, more things I didn't want to know.

Alice, Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, James, Victoria, Laurent, Jessica, Mike, Angela, Ben, Erik, , Tyler, Renee, Phil, Charlie, Billy, Jacob.

I remember the meadow, I remember when he saved me in Port Angeles, I remember when I found out he was a vampire, I remember the dance studio, but most of all I remember my disastrous 18th birthday, and the events that it led too… when Edward left me.

Hearing it, and having my mind play the scene over and over again, hearing him tell me he didn't want me, he didn't love me, and watching his retreating figure as he ran away from me, breaking my heart even more, it all made me cry even harder. I was gasping for breath, and grabbing at my chest.

I hear who I thought was Collin come up behind me to make sure I was o.k. I hunched my shoulders in defeat and turned around, still crying extremely loud, and I'm sure I looked like a complete mess. I saw him, standing there, with his topaz eyes filled with pain, strain, confusion, excitement, and many other emotions I couldn't place. I caught my breath, and started to retreat backwards, seeing him was only intensifying the emotions, and tripling the heartbreak I was already feeling. I still loved him hopelessly, and I wanted nothing more than to run into his arms and forget about the world for a while. But My body was frozen with pain, and shock.

In the same whisper as the biology room ( the irony did not escape me!) he said my name.

"_Bella_" he asked unbelieving.

" go away!" I shouted, trying to swat my arm in weak attempts. I had never felt so helpless, and so angry, and so broken. " I never want to speak to you again! Get the hell away from me, and stay away!" I tried to sound venomous, but it was broken by my sobs. Edward started to come towards me, subconsciously it seems, and I backed away, still on the wet, muddy ground. I couldn't let him get close to me, not again, I wouldn't be hurt again.

He saw my hurt, and panic as he came towards me, snapping him out of his reverie. Pain became the dominant emotion on his face, knowing that I was afraid of him, knowing that he hurt me to no end. I don't think he knew I didn't remember him until he spoke my name in the school.

I was too focused on what was going on with me and Edward, I didn't see Collin, Heath, Tanya, Lucy, Alice, Emmett, and Jasper.

Wait a second! Emmett! Jasper! ALICE! My heart melted as I saw them, my best friend, and who I use to think of as family. I was brought back down to earth by the feeling of constriction in the shape of a hole in my heart. I turned to run, but was stopped by Collin, grabbing me in one of his awkward hugs that I loved so much. Collin was the first vampire I met, I've known him for my whole vampire existence, he helped me with my bloodlust when I was a newborn, he refused to let me slip up and drink human blood, he has been my best friend, my wall, but everyone seems to think that we're dating.

While one part of my mind was having an internal argument about how people are stupid and don't have their own lives, the other part of my mind was still reeling over the fact that the Cullen clan is back.

I stepped away from Collin and walked over towards a jumpy Alice. She had a huge smile on her face, as did the rest of the Cullen's (except Edward). My family was just looking confused, and dumbfounded, and honestly a little bored (Heath). I went up behind Collin and started to fish through his pockets.

Everyone looked at me, it was irritating me.

" I'm not making a move, I'm trying to find the keys." I rolled my eyes. I snuck a glance at Edward, he looked perfect, he still had his gorgeous bronze hair, and he was wearing a light blue pullover with a white button down shirt, and a pair of tan Khaki pants. I turned to walk away, and was still marveling about him, when I tripped. Yep, fell right on my face. I got back up quick enough for human eyes, but when I turned around I saw everyone laughing, even Edward had a smile on his face. Lucy was grabbing onto Heath shoulder to keep herself standing. Emmett's whole body was shaking, and the air was filled with his booming laughter.

Tanya and Lucy quickly caught up with me-after they got enough control over their laughter- and asked to come home with me. I said yah, and we headed home.

I was hesitant to go back home, I didn't want to face all the memories that house held, my bedroom held. Or should I say Edward's bedroom.

I got home, and immediately had the same reaction as I did in the school. I ran, but not at human speed into the forest. Gasping for air (again!) and bawling my eyes out. Tanya and Lucy came out, and bounded into the tree next to me.

I fell to the ground, not caring anymore. My world was quickly falling apart. I could do nothing to stop it, no one could do anything to stop it. I was utterly alone in this situation. I cried even more as I realized how helpless I was.

When I finally gathered myself enough to sit up, I was being stared at with sad and confused gazes.

"What was that? Who were those people?" Lucy was the first one to speak, and she quickly jumped out of the tree to come give me a hug. Tanya followed, but planted herself in front of me.

"That was Edward Cullen."I choked on his name, "I fell madly and deeply in love with him when I was human, and I almost died because of a sadistic vampire and my stupid choices. He left me, he told me he didn't love me, and didn't want me anymore. He broke my heart a million times over. The people you were walking with were his family. Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, and……Alice." My voice broke, and was barely a whisper.

"They used to live in this house, I'm staying in Edwards room, I'm sorry. I'm going to take an early weekend." With that being said, I got up and dashed off into the woods. I didn't know where I was going, and I didn't know what I was planning on doing, but now it's just _that_ much better.

**OME! HA HA! DON'T YOU WORRY! EDWARD AND BELLA ARE GOING TO TALK IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! I PROMISE!**


	3. How Dare he!

**I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE WRITING A WHOLE CHAPTER ON IT, BUT EDWARD FOUND BELLA WHEN SHE RAN AWAY, AND HE KISSED HER. SO YAH!**

**BELLA IS A VAMPIRE, BUT THE MEMORIES SHE HAD WERE HUMAN, SO SHE CRIED! I FORGOT TO PUT THAT IN THE LAST CHAPTER.**

"Today's the day, today's the day, today's the day….." I chanted to myself while I put on a pink cashmere sweater dress, a black headband, black bangles, and black lace stiletto's.

I decided to do something with my hair today. I put rollers in it earlier today, and now it was bouncy and flowy. I took two little chunks of my hair, and twisted them back, making them meet, and keeping them there with a black flower clip.

I headed downstairs to an empty house, they were all going hunting. I had gone hunting yesterday, knowing that I needed to do this today. I grabbed my car keys and headed into the garage. Tanya took it upon herself to butt into my business and asked Alice where she lived, so I have directions. I put the keys in the ignition and made the car start. I sat in the garage with the car running for about 2 minutes, readying myself for what I'm about to do. I sped out of the monstrous garage and down our driveway. It took me all of 5 minutes to get to their house. It was absolutely stunning, but I didn't have time to get a good look at it. I was getting more furious by the moment, how dare he come back! How dare he expect me to just forgive him!

I stormed up to the door and hit it so hard, I was extremely surprised I didn't break it in half. Emmett answered the door, and a huge smile spread across his face. He wrapped me in a huge bear hug, and the air filled with his booming laughter. I hugged him back, as much as I am mad at Edward, I really did miss them all. I'm not quite sure, it's like human Bella was alive, and going about daily life, and when Edward said my name, she just inhabited my body. I know that's a bad analogy, but it's all I could think of.

Emmett released me, and pointed me upstairs.

"He's up there." Emmett closed the door, and I ran with inhuman speed up the stairs, and then I followed the scent I knew so well. I followed it to a bedroom door on-ironically- the third floor of the house. I heard music coming from his room, Claire De Lune. It almost made my anger go away, _almost. _

I started to bang on the door. Before I could break the door in half with another one of my hits, he opened it. His half-smile that I missed, and loved so much spread across his face. Even knowing it wouldn't do anything, I slapped him across the face.

His hand instinctively went to his cheek, and he looked at me like I just killed his mother. I heard people coming up the stairs to see what was going on, but I didn't care.

"How dare you! You walked away from me! You gave up on me! And now you just expect me to forgive you, and come back to you! It doesn't work that way! I may still be madly in love with you, but you lost my trust! You lost my respect! And as far as you're concerned, you lost my heart!" I yelled, and if I could cry, tears would be streaming down my face.

"I'm sorry Bella, more than you know. But you have to know that I love you just as much as I did before I left, and I always will." His eyes were pleading, but it made me even more angry.

"You think Sorry is going to fix this! You said you didn't love me, you said you didn't want me! Do you want to know why I'm a vampire instead of dead! Because I was so lonely, and so miserable, I welcomed death. Victoria," Everyone in the house hissed at the name, but I kept going, "saw that and she changed me so I would be stuck forever with the pain of losing you! I waited for you to come back for me! I woke up every morning hoping it was just a dream, and that you would be there to pick me up! I was in so much pain! It felt like there was a hole in my heart! Where were you then Edward! Where were you then!" I was still yelling, and he was still hurting. Good, let him feel some of the pain.

"I know you hate me. You have every reason to hate me. I understand that. Just know that I will never stop loving you, never stop wanting you, and I will never stop thinking about you." He pleaded with me.

"You bet your ass I have every reason to hate you! But I don't! I am still madly, ead over heels in love with you! That's what sucks the most out of all of this! My heart and my head don't seem to want the same thing! I am so furious with you Edward Anthony Masen slash Cullen!" I was fuming, and I needed to take a second to calm down.

"I would never do that to you again, and I will spend the rest of eternity proving that I love you, and trying to make up for what I did to you." His voice was soft and velvet, just above a whisper.

"Where have I heard that before? You said that to me in the hospital, you promised you wouldn't leave me! Look how well that turned out! How do I know that this would be any different!" I realized what I was saying, " Why am I even considering this! " I scoffed and shook my head.

"How dare you come back here! How dare you think you have any claim over me!" I started to walk away, his whole family was at the staircase, listening to the whole thing. I would have laughed if it were a different situation.

"What are you doing?" Edward asked, he must have followed me to the stairs. I paused briefly.

"It's called walking away!" I said.

"Don't do this." Edward sounded hurt. I half turned to face him. He was about a foot behind me.

"You showed me how!" I spat. Pain, and despair spread across his face at my verbal slap. I turned around, and his family quickly parted, obviously effected by my words.

I ran outside and got in my car, I sped out of there drive way and on to the freeway. I was going through my conversation with Edward. Even with my vampire hearing I didn't hear the car coming towards me.

_CRUSH!_


	4. SO SORRY PEOPLE!

**I HAVE 2 OTHER STORIES THAT ARE LACKING IN THE REVIEW DEPARTMENT!!!!**

**HOW IT ALL HAPPENED AND SECRETS AND TEARS!!!**

**I AM HOLDING THE NEXT CHAPTER HOSTAGE UNTIL I GET SOME REVEIWS!!!!**

**PLEASE, PLEASE, A MILLION TIMES PLEASE!!!!**

**I HATE WRITING THESE NOTES, BECAUSE I HATE READING THEM IN OTHERS STORIES, BUT I'M SERIOUSLY DEPRESSED!**

**SO PLEASE REVIEW!!!!**

**HOW IT ALL HAPPENED IS ABOUT EDWARD AND BELLA, AND ABOUT WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF VICTORIA CHANGED BELLA, THEN SHE COMES BACK TO FORKS TO FIND SOMEONE SPECIAL!!!**

**SECRETS AND TEARS ISNT VERY INTERESTING RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE I HAVE TO DO FILLER CHAPTERS SO EVERYONE KNOWS WHATS GOING ON, BUT I STILL WOULD LIKE SOME REVEIEWS!!!!**

**SO PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE, WITH A TWILIGHT ON TOP!**


	5. dun dun dun!

**GASP! BELLA GOT HIT! BUT WITH WHAT? AND BY WHO?**

Edward point of view

I was at the top of out staircase, staring in shock as Bella descended down the staircase, her last words replaying in my head, _you showed me how. _

When I left, I was hoping she would forget about me, hoping she would move on, and be with someone human, for her own good. Little did I know, I would be hurting her like this. My whole family was looking at me with shock and pity on their faces. Alice came up and nudged my shoulder, bringing me out of my inner monologue.

"Well…..What are you waiting for? Go get her you loser!" Alice chirped.

"What?" I asked, uncomprehending.

"Go after her you fool! You let her get away once, don't do it again!" Alice was jumping up and down with excitement. I could read her thoughts, she wanted to come with.

"Would you like to come with Alice?" I asked sarcastically

"YES!" She squealed. I looked around at my family.

"Anyone else?" I sighed. Emmett raised his hand, and started laughing. They both followed me out into the garage, and we piled into my vanquish, we would never catch her in the Volvo. Alice was extremely giddy, and Emmett was excited to see how much of a fool I would make out of myself. As much as he tried to act nonchalant, he was excited to see Bella and see us together again. Alice was reciting her latest book-Dear John by Nicholas Sparks-in 3 different languages to keep me out of her head. I was going to ask her what she was hiding, but figured that I didn't have time. I sped out of our garage and down the driveway. Alice gasped and pealed over. She was having a vision of Bella, in an accident, and her dying. There were many blank spots in her vision, someone or something she couldn't see.

I had a sharp intake of breath, and sped up as much as I could. I was getting impatient, I didn't know where Bella was, what street she was on or anything like that. I turned onto the freeway that headed towards Seattle. I smelled her, I smelled blood, and I smelled werewolf. I growled, and raced towards the scene, if I could get close enough to see what was going on, I could get out. I would have to hold my breath around the blood, but that was o.k.

I turned a corner and came to an abrupt stop. There were 8 cars smashed into each other, I saw Bella's car, and I saw 6 other bodies, but when I looked at them closely, none of them were Bella, and all of them were human, I looked around, frantically searching for Bella, when I saw a blur in the forest. I looked closer, and sure enough there was a huge wolf deep enough in the forest to be shaded from human eyes. With him, was the love of my existence, the one and only Isabella Swan.


	6. Chapter 6

**The next chapter will be up soon, but it's going to be kind of short. (but it will be interesting, promise!)**

EPOV!!!!

I ran as fast as I could towards the werewolf, and stopped dead in my tracks. Bella was alive, and laughing her ass off.

_Why the hell is she laughing, I'm going to kill her and she's laughing!_ The werewolf was taking a huge blow to the ego, he cringed and whimpered, and I realized he took a blow in his special man parts. Alice and Emmett laughed behind me, and I joined in. Bella turned to look at me, and she looked terrifying, even Emmett took a step back after she snarled at us.

The werewolf charged her, and she jumped with amazing grace and landed in the top of the tree. She leaned into a crouching position, waiting for the wolf to pass under the tree so she can get him.

I know that she's a vampire, but it still stunned me into silence watching her as she moved with great precision, speed and agility. All the while wearing high heels, wait no, rib boned stiletto's.

I watch in amazement as Bella lunged from the tree, and plummeted down onto the wolf's back. He crashed to the ground, and you could hear all of his bones crunch from the impact. He whimpered.

_God dammitt!! This fucking bitch is kicking my ass, why haven't those parasites over there come to help her. Owe, god fucking dammitt, this fucking hurts like a mother fucking bitch!_

I growled and took an involuntary step forward. I want to rip his throat out for calling Bella those names. He started this war, and I wanted to end it.

"Edward stop! She can fend for herself now, and she obviously doesn't want your help." Alice said, depressed. My head was throbbing from the cluster of all the brains around me.

_Oh my god! Are they alright!_

_What will I tell the children?_

_That's my wife!_

_That ass hole ruined my car!_

_Owe, owe, owe, owe, owe!_

_Fuck, my leg, I think a pole went through it_

_Woops, guess I should have stopped at the red light! Oh Well!_

_I want a hot dog_

_EDWARD HELP ME!_

I snapped my head at the calling of my name, I couldn't find the source. Half my mind was looking for who called my name, and half my mind was focused on Bella. She was now lunging for his throat, and he was thinking he was going to die, he should at least make a mark on her. I growled again.

_Edward, please help me! _The voice was drifting away, and I snapped my head, looking all around.

I needed an asprin or some vampire pill to make it all go away. All the voices, all the pain, all the hurt, all the despair. It was all adding up, and I couldn't take it. I let out a bloodcurling scream, and fell to the floor. I clutched my head and peeled over to the ground.

_Look it your heart, and find out who I am, I need your help now, I can't hold on much longer. _The voice was barely a whisper, and it was confusing as hell.

Another crack of pain went through my cranium, and I screeched. I put my arm out to grab the nearest tree, and I snapped it on accident. I was now in fetal position on the wet ground, Bella had killed the wolf, and everyone was at my side.

"What's wrong with him?" Bella cried. Alice was silently sobbing dry tears.

"I don't know! Just give me a minute!" Emmett sounded frusturated. This was the first time in a whole 200 years I have seen him serious. It scared me, I must look like shit. I crumpled to the ground and clutched my head.

"Help! Make it stop! Please, just make it go away!" I yelled.

"GET JASPER! NOW!" Alice yelled frantically, and Bella took off like a lightning bolt. My heart squeezed at the sight of her retreating back. I just had to hope she would come back. I yelled out in agony and Emmett fell to his knees beside me. Alice and Emmett looked like they were either crying or going insane.

In that instant Bella was back, and panting, with Jasper-who was also panting.

"Jazz! Please help him, focus all your energy on calming him! Just do it!" Alice screeched. Jasper looked tormented and horrified.

"I can't, there are too many emotions, I'm not strong enough!" Jaspers eyes looked crazed, he could smell the blood. "I need to go home, I'm sorry!" Japer looked ashamed, and he started off towards the house. Bella grabbed his shoulder and he fell to the ground. Jasper looked up stunned.

"You listen to me Jasper Hale, you _can _do this. You are strong, and you are a good man. Don't you ever forget that. You are an amazing person, and you need to believe in yourself a little more. I know what it feels like to not be good enough, and to be tortured and tormented by the one and only-you. You are going to get your ass up off the ground, and you are going to send god damn waves to Edward before I rip out your testicles through your throat. Do you understand me! Your brother needs you right now, and you are the only one that can help him. Be the hero of the day, and do something only you can do."

Jasper rose up from the ground, and breathed in through his moth. He closed his eyes, and every muscle in his body tensed up.

Another round of ear splitting pain shot through my mind, and I could faintly hear the cry ofr my help in the back of my mind. I was trembling with pain, and spasms of pain shot through my entire body now, and my head felt like it was splitting into 17 million pieces.

I shook for about another 10 minutes, and my body went numb. I looked up at Jasper, and he was trembling, and his knees buckled under him, but he never lost his focus.

I tried to move my body, but I couldn't. The voices in my head had subsided into a murmur, and I started freaking out. What was happening! What just happened to me! Why can't I move! Bella saw the look in my eyes, and closed hers for a brief moment. She opened her mouth with a wide gasp and shot a death glare at Jasper before she took control of her emotions.

"He wants to know why the fuck he can't move his god damn body." Bella said calmly, but her voice quivered from the strain of not yelling at Jasper, I noted that she swore a lot more when she got angry.

"I tried to send him calming waves, but they didn't work, I sent him Numbing waves, but those didn't work, so I tried to mix a bunch of different emotions, and that didn't work, so I channeled Bellas feeling into your body." Jasper was panting through the whole thing, I had never seen a vampire need air, and it scared me a little. My spirits soared when I knew I was feeling Bella's emotions. I had never been able to read her mind, and I never will, and this was as close as I was going to get into being inside her head.

I had gotten over not being able to move, and Emmett came to get me up. Bella giggled little, and my body got a little bit lighter. Bella went over to Jasper and carefully got him to his feet, Jaspers legs were trembling, and his face was scrunched up. Alice tried to find something she could do, but she had no idea how to help Jasper, her mind was ajumble, and she didn't know what would be good or not. She choose to speak, but what would she say.

"We should go shopping tomorrow." Alice chirped nervously, and a half hearted smile spread across her face. Bella burst out into laughter, and Emmett rolled his eyes. Jasper's mind relaxed by like point 9 billion, but it still relaxed.

Emmett ran home, with Alice in tow, and Jasper and Bella were slowly making their way behind us. Jasper decided to keep up the waves until we got fully home and Carlisle got to him, so he was in excruciating pain. Bella was doing an amazing job with Jasper today, and Alice was a little miffed she couldn't help Jasper, she had been stunned into a certain state at that moment in time.

Emmett dropped me on the couch, and I fell to the floor. Alice gave him a scolding look that would have sent shivers down my spine if I could find it.

"What? It's not like he can feel it or anything, plus he's a vampire!" He justified, then he went off to find Carlisle, Alice joined him after she got me back up on the couch, and she knew I wouldn't fall.

About 5 minutes later Bella and Jasper came in, and Bella shot me a death/ pained glare. She could do something with minds or emotions, and I planned on finding out. She turned around, and I gasped.

I had been so caught up in me I didn't notice Bella. Her clothes were shredded, and she had some healing scars. I guess the wolf had more of an effect than I thought, but he was dead now. Bella cautiously turned around, and shot me a look all her own.

She moved Jasper into the kitchen. He started to convulse. Bella got him a drink ( I don't know what, Jaspers mind was a mess, and I couldn't read Bella's) and he slightly relaxed. Bella continued to find things to calm him down. Some more of that drink (it irked me to no end not knowing what it was!)some more towels, some fragrance mix of Freisia, orange blossom, roses, lavender and something else. My senses were dulling, and it scared me.

_Edward, please, help me, I need your help!_

My senses perked up.

"Bella!" Edward yelled, he knew she could hear him if he whispered, but yelling made him feel better. She ran into the room, and abruptly stopped right in front of him. Edward didn't see her until she stopped right in front of him, and she scared the crap out of him. He was really scared.

"What Edward!" she tried to sound irritated, but you could tell she was immensely worried. She put her hand on her hip in fake frustration.

"What were you thinking just a second ago?" I asked calmly.

"I was thinking of what else I can do to help Jasper save your sorry ass." Bella's voice quivered.

"Oh" I said, I was getting frustrated at being so damn helpless. I've never felt like that. And I don't quite like it. Bella went back into the kitchen and re heated Jaspers towels.

Carlisle and Esme came into the room just then, and Esme ran to my side.

"Oh honey, I am so sorry!" She pleaded.

"I am afraid we are going to have to put you back in pain to find out what wrong." Carlisle whispered. He looked so broken, if I could cry, I would-and I'm sure so would Carlisle.

Bella and Jasper emerged from the kitchen, and Jasper looked awful. He was flushed, and shaky. His thoughts were a swirl of black pain.

"Jasper, I'm going to have to ask you to slowly take away your powers from Edward, I will allow you to leave if it gets too much." Carlisle said, he was in doctor mode now. Jasper took a deep breath, and I was slowly brought back into my painful state. I screamed out in pain as I started to convulse.

"I was hoping it would be gone since we aren't near the accident scene anymore. I screamed, and Jasper fell to his knees. Alice ran to him, and paused when she realized all she could do was sit with im, and she hoped it would be enough. She dropped to her knees, pain obvious in her movements and wrapped her arms around Jasper and pulled him in. She started rocking him back and forth, and he burst out of her grasp and ran. Alice started off after him, but Carlisle stopped her.

"I need you Alice, Bella would you please go?" Bella had been sneaking out the door, and had almost made it down the steps.

"Yah." Her voice quivered when she looked at me, coiled up with pain. I let out a blood curling scream and Bella ran out before anyone could see her cry (well, our kind of crying)

_1267 Charming St, Forks Washington. Please help us Edward, you're our only hope._

_I can't _I thought.

And the blackness consumed me.


	7. Chapter 7

BPOV

I ran after Jasper, heaving dry sobs on the way. I had to stop to catch my breath and to find Japers scent. It turns out, I didn't have to look far, Jasper was at the top of a tree about 20 yards away from me. I walked over to him, panting and stumbling on the way. He was holding on to his knees for dear life, and mumbling something under his breath even _I _couldn't hear. I went and sat next to him.

I knew what it was like to feel like this, and I knew how annoyed I was when people tried to get me to talk about it, or when people told me what was good for me, so I just sat and put my arm around him.

I searched his brain for a thought of calmness or happiness, but the closest I got was depressed, so I pulled that out of his mind and let it spread through his mind. He stopped shaking and let go of his knees. He looked at me, and wrapped me in a comfortable hug.

"I'm sorry Bella." Jasper whispered in my ear. He let me go and scooted away. " I know you must hate our whole family after what we did to you. I know you must hate me the most, I tried to kill you, and I'm the reason we left." He put his head down in shame. I reached out to him, but he shied away from my hand. I scooted closer and he didn't move, so I tried again, and my hand successfully made it around his shoulders without him moving.

"Jasper, I don't hate you guys, and that's my problem. I could never hate you, I could never hate Edward, as much as I want to, and as much as I wish I could hate him-I just can't. I never thought it was your fault, and I don't hate you at all. Not. At. All. Don't ever thing otherwise. The birthday incident was my fault, I mean how stupid was I to stay in the house with blood. I mean, I just stood there and said 'shoot'! I should have run out of the house, or at least put my finger in my mouth. I guess I was just stupid, and I use to forget that Edward was a vampire, and I use to forget things around me when I got wrapped up in self-pity. I was a stupid human, I was selfish, idiotic, naïve, and just a bad person. I always use to think I was selfless, and I always use to think of myself as the parent, but when I look back on it, I really wasn't. I was a helpless human. I never really understood what it was like, the feeling of bloodlust. But it's awful, and it was the worst year of my life! It was like someone was shoving a hot iron down my throat, and taunting me with cold water to make it stop. If Collin would have let me, the whole population of Denver Colorado would be 0 thanks to me." I babbled, trying to distract him.

"Umm….I don't really know what to say to a speech like that." He laughed. It was an airy laugh, not bell like or musical like the others, but I liked it, "I think you should give Edward another chance, he was only trying to protect you, and to keep you away from other vampires like James." Jasper pleaded. I sighed.

"James was bored OK, he wasn't a bad vampire, and Victoria was heartbroken. She was blinded by love and pain. James wanted to play a game, but when Edward refused, he used me. So they weren't bad" I scolded.

"Second, I want to give Edward a chance, I want to give in to my heart and feel special like I did when I was with him, but I can't. What if he leaves again, and don't say he wont, because he already promised me that before, and look where it got me. I tried the trusting thing with him, and it did me no good, and got me right back to square one. Edward said he loved me, but he just ended up leaving me after I saved his soul or whatever. I thought he was the one, but he left me, he broke my heart, and I promised I would never give him that chance again. I learn new things about my human life every day, and my teenage years, not so fun to see." I smiled weakly, and Jasper hooked his arm around my shoulder. I gasped and was sent intoa ramble of new thoughts.

_I was in my bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror, tears streaming down my face. I was slumped on the floor, far enough so I could see my whole body in the little mirror. I had been throwing up all day long, and I scoffed. Who cared about me anymore. I'm a pathetic little human girl who put all her heart into love, and thought she found her soul mate in junior year, but ended up getting thrown on her ass. I smiled a sickening, revolting smile, and cocked my head to the side._

_I didn't do anything. I can't help that I'm human. Edward wouldn't let me make my own decisions. He didn't think I was strong enough, he didn't believe our love could last._

_I cackled at the thought of anyone being stupid enough, blind enough to fall in love with me. I was completely un-remarkable when it came to the looks department. I wasn't blessed with boobs, and I didn't have toned, tight legs. But DAMITT I am a decent person._

_Edward is a selfish jerk._

_I cackled again, I could never think bad things about Edward, I couldn't even think about anything related to the Cullen's without my heart burning. I got angry when I came to a realization/_

_Edward didn't believe in me, he didn't believe in love. He didn't think I could make my own decision, he thinks I'm some stupid human girl. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I've managed quite fine on my own my entire life. Who the hell does he think he is._

_I burst into tears, hiccupping like crazy. I pulled myself up and stared at my revolting reflection. I don't know how Edward could have even considered me, and how Jacob could even want to be friends. I lifted up my fist and smashed the mirror. My hand started to bleed, but I didn't care. I let out a sigh of release as the stinging in my hand worsened. It felt so good. I burst into more tears and cackles as I realized that this is a similar situation to the one I was in last September. But now, there wre no vampires, and the only thing hurting me right now was, well…….me._

I was brought back from all my flashback by Jasper shaking me violently and yelling my name. I snapped my head up, and he breathed a deep sigh of relief.

"I think I'm going to head back, I think you should go check in with your clan and tell them your OK. Please don't be a stranger Bella, if you're not coming for Edward, then at least come for the rest of us. Alice would hate Edward if you didn't hang out with her because of him. She was excited to see your fashion sense get better." He looked me up and down, my tattered clothes, and cut up shoes. "At least when you don't almost die, and have to come save my ass millions of times." He laughed "Thanks Bella, you're not half bad." He said, then ran away.

I started off running, but then stopped to check my pockets. By some miracle, my phone was still in my pocket, and it was in amazing shape.

I dialed my insurance agency(vampire memory) and sorted out my car situation. They would pay for my next car, and keep me on a plan, but they wouldn't pay my medical bills (They didn't know I was perfectly fine) and then I hung up the phone.

I thought about going to La Push to see Jacob, but worried he would try to kill her, and she would have to hurt him.

She called Heath. He picked up in the middle of If I Were a Boy by Beyonce (he lost a bet) and was relieved to hear it was me.

"So how did it go?" Heath asked

"Well, I sort of got really angry, and I didn't expect to lash out on him, but it felt really good. Then I drove off in a storm after he asked me what I was doing, then I said walking away, then he said don't do this, then I said you showed me how-" I was cut off.

"OK, I'm not Lacey or Tanya, can you give me the cliff notes version" Heath chuckled.

'Sorry, I was getting to the interesting part. Well, I got in a car crash" Heath gasped "and got in a fight with a werewolf, but I kicked his ass, then Edward, Alice and Emmett showed up, and Edward was in some kind of pain, and we needed Jaspers power so I went to get him, then he took all his energy and more to take away Edwards pain, or subside it with a new emotion, so I had to help him, then Carlisle came in to treat him, and Jasper had to take back the emotions, but then everybody mixed up emotions was hurting him, so he ran away, and I went to get him and I talked to him, then I called the insurance agency, and there gonna refund my car, and now I'm calling you. I'm kid of lost, but I'lll find my wau eventually."

"You really suck at Cliff Notes Bells." I heard Tanya yell in the distance, and Heath answered yah, then Tanya screamed.

"Umm….Tanya wants to talk to you. Bye." Heath handed the phone off to Tanya, and I was greeted by a round of questions.

So I went into a minute by minute play by play of the day, and Tanya was making little side comments she thought I couldn't hear, and was embarrassed when I would correct her every sing time.

"I'm right outside the house, I'll talk to you in a second." I walked through the doors, and ran up to my room, knowing that Tanya and Lacey would be there. I was surprised to find Collin and Heath there too. Heath saw my surprise and mouthed the words 'forced' and I laughed.

I went into another play by play of my day, this time Tanya asked questions instead of comments. I was sitting at the end of my bed, my legs crossed, and I was changed into flannel pajamas and a ratty tank top( vampire speed, and the fact that they've all seen me naked anyway.) The atmosphere suddenly got serious.

"So did you tell him?" Tanya asked

"No."

**Hit the green/gray button right below here!!! It loves to be clcikd, and it will eat you if you disrespect it's wishes!!!**

**Ever heard of Clarabelle Clark??? No???? EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	8. Chapter 8

Yes, I know, A/N's are annoying, but I feel the need to tell you this.

I am currently putting all my stories on hold.

In my heart, I truly believe that writing is something that should be enjoyed, and you should be putting your whole heart into your story, because if you don't love your story, then your reader will not.

I am not saying that I don't like these stories, I am just saying I am at a blank as for what to write in my next chapters, and if I don't know what I want to happen in the next chapters, then I am not going to write a mediocre chapter that is just there so you guys can get an update.

I also am not saying that I am stopping my stories; I am simply putting them on hold. I will be resuming them one at a time, in a period of time.

If any of you reading this has an idea for the next chapter, an idea for any future chapters, or an idea for where this story should go, please leave it in a review, or Private Message me on my profile.


	9. Chapter 9

Good news……I'm not dead!

Just lazy!

So, I need your help out there in Fan Fiction land!

I know where I want my stories to go, I just need a little help…I have a serious lacking in the whole, making it happen category, dialogue is not my thing….I'm good with details though!

I need a little help, anyone want to help me….PLEASE!

It doesn't have to be a co-author kind of thing, just a little nudge in the right direction when I need it, a little creativity from an outside source!

PLEASE!

I would love you forever! Even though I don't know you! Well, I know you Cassidy, but I wish I didn't!


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